first_img Comments   Share   The 5: Takeaways from the Coyotes’ introduction of Alex Meruelo Upon Washington’s return with the baby, the report states he and his ex-girlfriend got into an argument, which continued as they reached the top of the apartment complex’s stairs. The report states that from there, as the woman asked Washington to return the baby to her, pushed the woman away and would not allow her to get close enough to him to take the baby. The report goes on to say Washington, at some point, “extended his hand and grabbed” the woman by the neck before pushing her over to the landing railing while choking her. The report says Washington eventually let loose of his grip and the woman was able to take the baby from him, but as she tried to close the apartment door behind her he shoved it open and “pushed his way in.”The report says the woman’s injuries were consistent with her account of the events.Washington has released a statement:“This is a legal matter and I am limited in what I can say other than that my lawyer and I will continue to cooperate with investigators and welcome the opportunity for all the facts to be presented. I regret that the situation has brought this kind of attention to my family and my team. I look forward to resolving it as soon as possible.” Phoenix police confirmed Arizona Cardinals linebacker Daryl Washington was been arrested and booked into jail on two counts of aggravated assault Friday.This stems from an incident that occurred Wednesday afternoon.According to the police report, Washington had paid a visit to the accuser’s apartment to see their baby, which was not out of the ordinary. However, at some point Washington left to take the baby to Dairy Queen, which upset the woman. KTAR has learned that Washington and the victim currently have cases in the family court system in Maricopa County.Washington, 26, was suspended by the NFL earlier this offseason for violating the league’s substance abuse policy.Washington was a Pro Bowl alternate in 2012 after finishing the season with 134 tackles and nine sacks. The former second-round pick out of TCU has tallied 319 tackles, 15 sacks and four interceptions as an Arizona Cardinal. He signed a six-year, $32 million contract extension prior to the 2012 season. Grace expects Greinke trade to have emotional impact Derrick Hall satisfied with D-backs’ buying and selling Former Cardinals kicker Phil Dawson retires Top Stories last_img read more

Happiness — A Report From the Slow Lane

first_imgby, David Goff, ChangingAging ContributorTweetShare2ShareEmail2 SharesI learned about something recently that has given me so much delight, and so much challenge, that I just had to share the prospect of it with you. I’ve been blessed this year to be part of an elder’s group and awareness of the viability of real happiness first came to me there. I feel such gratitude toward those who I am traveling with right now, because they (the elders) helped me to see something I had long ago forgotten could exist for me. Here is how it happened, and what it has constellated for me.One evening, during a meeting of the elder’s circle, as we were going around saying our names, and describing something we liked about becoming older, I was struck by the impression that I was surrounded by a lot of people who had become themselves. This impression intrigued me. Later, we broke into small groups, where the impression grew into a full-blown, mind-altering, realization. Growing older had meant, for some of us, that we had arrived, despite still having further to go, at a time and place in our lives, where there were no roles, rules, or expectations, other than our own. We were free, and many of us had become idiosyncratically and uniquely our selves.A rush of happiness came cascading in. I was surrounded by people who had become them selves. I was one of them; free to be authentic, different, uncertain, sensitive, foolish, erotic, crazy, and just plain me. At that moment I liked what getting old had done for me. Of course, I learned later that much of what distinguishes an elder from a merely old person had to do with how one responded to the hardships and losses of a long life. Freedom, and true elderhood, seemed to rest on choices that people made at the most difficult times in their lives. And miraculously, it seemed as if the best choices, the most effective decisions, had all been toward becoming truer to one’s self. In the midst of this group of self-possessed elders I discovered that happiness, my happiness, lay with cleaving to my own being.That wasn’t all the joy I was to discover that night. I was delighted and surprised by what came next. I hadn’t even gotten used to the idea that my life-long struggle, to be me, had actually resulted in my becoming someone, myself, when it became clear that just being myself made a difference. One of the remarkable things that distinguished this group of people is that they want to give something back. There has been much talk in this group, perhaps spurred on by radicalism, of an elder insurgency. The urge to provide some kind of alternative, met with the realization that becoming our selves was a radical, even subversive, thing, and an unbelievable joyous surprise was born. Merely being true to one’s self changed the world!During that meeting, without ever intending it, I was brought to the realization that happiness existed, and could be a regular feature of my life. All I had to do, to be generally happy, was be my self. If I merely held onto my self in my relationships, if I stayed true to what emerged in me, as me, then I would be free. Happiness and freedom became synonymous.In the weeks that have followed that realization, I have been reflecting upon happiness, and the limited role I have let it play in my life. I have discovered that I keep myself from being as happy as I could be, by letting my anxiety take me out of the moment. I have always been good at anticipating things, I liked to think I had the skill of a chess champion, looking ahead several moves. Instead, what I have realized, is best captured in the words of a friend of mine, who once wrote in a letter, that “anticipatory anxiety” was “the constipation” that “kept all the good shit from happening;” how true, and how unfortunate, for me.With the experience in the elder’s circle, and with this writing, I realize that I have made happiness highly conditional. My happiness has always been a product of my circumstances, instead of myself. By holding on to my anxious response to each and every coming moment, I have trapped myself in a non-existent and totally fabricated future, which would determine my well-being. I kept looking forward because happiness existed out there, instead of in here, where I am.I realize that circumstances don’t have to determine my happiness. I don’t have to attend to the future. That is a choice; it is a reflection of where I want to place my attention. I could be happy as a day-to-day attitude. I could choose to focus my attention on my marvelous ability to respond creatively to each moment. I have been granted the gift of not being a machine, with a pre-determined range of choices, I get to meet each moment naked. This freedom scares me. It seems like too much. I could easily fall or fail. I do all the time! But, I know that this is the way to learn to fly. And, I am happy discovering that this too is part of the potential that has been granted to me by Life.It turns out that I can be happy. I am alive, and I have been prepared for just this much choicefulness. I may be disabled, brain-damaged and egotistical, but I still get to have enough choice about how I relate to things that I can be happy. And, you know the strangest, and best, part of it all, is that I just have to be me, to be happy.Knowing I can fly isn’t the same as flying, but it is enough to render me happier. Knowing that flying, that being my self, is a service to the world, that makes me feel something else………. a grateful awe.  Related PostsSourcing The DepthsShe said, “a spring.” I said, ”yes, perhaps that’s it.” We were trying to think of a metaphor, a symbol, for what we could imagine emerging in the elder’s group.Analog Aging in a Digital WorldIt seems that as a society we keep throwing out the traditional baby with the bathwater every time a new cultural development occurs, just because it’s new. Here are a few examples of analog values we should retain that relate directly to aging.Old at Love, Young at HeartOur beauty changes, but it never goes away, it goes inside of us. And that inner beauty shines through all the brighter.TweetShare2ShareEmail2 SharesTags: Elderhood happinesslast_img read more